The following from Neal Boortz (2/14/05):

"OK .. here's the deal. It's January 15th; the MLK Holiday. They're having a civil rights march in Columbus. A woman writes a letter complaining about the conduct of a Columbus police officer during the march. Did the officer insult anyone? Did he yell racial epithets? Did he abuse or shove someone? Nope, none of the above.

"So, just what did the officer do? Well, he ate a banana. That's it. The police department sent around a snack van to give the officers who were working the march something to eat. This particular officer chose a banana. . . . So the complaining woman sees the officer eating a banana...and she's 'deeply offended.'

"OK...you're on the edge of your seats now, aren't you. You know there's more to the story, and you want me to fill it in, right? Sorry...that's pretty much the story; except, that is, for the woman's reasoning. Here you go. Since it was a civil rights march, and since most of the participants were black, the woman felt that the officer eating a banana was actually trying to humiliate the black marchers by somehow relating black people to apes, since apes are reported to enjoy bananas.

"I'm not joking, folks. Believe it or not, this woman has such a huge racial chip on her shoulder that she actually thinks that if a white person eats a banana in the presence of a black person that white bigot is somehow sending the message that he considers black folks to be apes. Now wouldn't this woman just be a delight as a next door neighbor? Wouldn't you absolutely love to have to work closely with her? Every day you would have to pack your lunch oh so carefully. No bananas. Oh, and I'd be really careful about having any watermelon in that fruit cup."